Microsoft Builds New Keyboard For Vista, Vista Crashes In Excitement
June 30, 2006
Microsoft has built a new keyboard to accompany the release of their new operating system, Vista — an eagerly awaited OS that’s not so much eagerly awaited for the quality, but rather for the new errors and breakdowns it will bring along with it.
“Emotionally Aware” Computer To “Read Minds” Will Smith Readies To Defend World
June 28, 2006
A computer system designed to read minds by analyzing people’s expressions will be featured at the Royal Society Summer Science Exhibition in London — remember that name, your great-great grandchildren will mention it every time they curse their oppressive Robot Overlords.
PT-200 Personal Bracelet Tracker Simultaneously Cool And Creepy
June 23, 2006
The PT-200 Personal Bracelet Tracker is the newest gadget in the recent upsurge of devices that track movement and location — which makes one wonder if tech companies have replaced their CEOs with Ninjas and/or Spies. Looking like the bastard child of an 80’s watch and one that Luke Skywalker may have worn, the PT-200 comes in form of a bracelet and carries the honor of not only being the smallest GPS device in its class, but also the only GPS device that a Transformer might look good wearing.
Heartmath Releases Stress Reliever Gadget, Causes More Stress
June 23, 2006
Heartmath, a company that not only has heart, but can multiply it by Pi, has released their new Emwave Personal Stress Reliever — a gadget that measures your heart rhythms and then provides color coded feedback on how stressed you are. If the color matches the nation’s current color-coded terror alert system, users will get a free batch of antidepressants.
Seeing-Eye GPS System Aids The Blind And Directionless
June 22, 2006
Those GPS systems that are often used by hikers, hunters, and drivers have recently been employed for something that’s actually worthwhile — aiding the blind. Three products have recently been made available — all use braille, all use voice, and all promise to eventually be turned into very friendly guide robots that can also beat up kids who find hilarity in mistreating the blind.
Georgia Tech Develops Camera “Blinding Device”
June 21, 2006
The Georgia Institute of Technology has developed a prototype system that neutralizes digital cameras by locating them within a given area (let’s say a movie theater or an ultra secret CIA spy zone) and immediately shooting them with a laser. The inventor of said system? Darth Vader.
Linksys WVC200 - WiFi Security Camera
June 19, 2006
Linksys has announced the immediate availability of their new Linksys camera that they call — the Wireless-G Pan/Tilt/Zoom (PTZ) Internet Camera with Audio (WVC200) — a snappy, memorable name for a neat little webcam that will please businessmen, regular consumers, and creepy government officials alike.
Nintendo Introduces New DS Lite
June 16, 2006
Nintendo, following in the path of such companies like Coors and Budweiser, has proudly announced the arrival of the updated version of the DS — the DS lite. iPod-white and Apple-futuristic, the DS Lite is a completely improvement of the original DS (released in October 2004) — and is guaranteed to get you drunk a whole lot slower.
Atech To Release Groundbreaking iCarta - iPod Toilet
June 15, 2006
Atech Flash Technology has announced the release of a new, state-of-the-art, groundbreaking gadget called the iCarta. What is this mystical creature? What does the iCarta do? How exactly will it break ground? Simple — by not only mounting and playing your iPod while you’re in your bathroom — but by also doubling up as a toilet roll dispenser.
If genius had a name — that name would be iCarta.
Energizer To Sell Portable Rechargers for Phones and iPods
June 15, 2006
Energizer Holdings Inc., the full name of the company who is most often associated with a cymbal-clapping rabbit, has announced plans to sell portable power packs that charge iPods, cellphones and portable game devices — officially killing any chances of getting a love life (even though new pickup lines like, “Baby, I can turn you on — to my power pack” will be made readily available upon purchase.)
That’s right, nothing screams I’m-a-hip-gangster-with-my-iPod-securely-in-my-portable-rechargeable-power-pack like the new portable rechargeable power packs — which run on lithium batteries and should cost about $29.99 for gaming devices and music players, and $19.99 for cell phones.
Energizer plans on selling the chargers and device connectors on September 1st at all major US retailers. We know, it’s a long wait — we suggest passing the time by plugging things in and just… dreaming.
If you’re interested, keep going, going, going to the Energizer site.
Interesting fact: The Energizer Bunny’s favorite actor is Jack Nicholson, and his favorite song is “I Got The Power.” The most interesting part about this fact is that it this is all true.
