Free Q Helps Lose Weight In Creepiest Way Possible

We are proud to bring you the creepiest gadget coming out of CES. It’s so creepy, the picture on the box looks like a picture from an adult website you’d accidentally stumble on if you typed “kinky weight loss.” The product is Free Q — and besides looking like an octopus strapped with suction cups, it supposedly helps you lose weight and, possibly, do irreparable damage. It’s really a toss up there.

Free Q is as easy as getting in your bikini and having a creepy doctor attach suction cups to your thigh in what appears to be heaven. Apparently, the weight-loss gadget is the world’s first wireless electrical nerve stimulator — it’s the world’s first because no one else in the world really cares — and it’s used to tone and elongate your muscles.

Who needs exercise or dieting when you’ve got the Free Q and a Japanese doctor attaching the Free Q to your body?

Forget the fact that the people who would use this probably need more than just a little electrical nerve stimulant — since they’re too lazy to get up and, say, do a push-up — let’s, instead, consider any possible health risks. Now, you might say to us — Devlib people, how would you know? Have you ever been strapped with suction cups that shoot electricity through your body? And to that we say — touche.

However, somehow, the idea of electricity pumping into your muscles doesn’t only sound unhealthy, it also sounds unhelpful — unless the twitching/seizuring afterwards burns some calories. Then, hey, good investment.

As the creepiest and least helpful gadget of all the gadgets at CES, there’s only one thing we can give the Free Q as far as ratings are concerned — a horrified Jar Jar Binks.